


Thankyou.

by parodySphoria



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 13:49:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1512824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parodySphoria/pseuds/parodySphoria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little silly writing thing I did for all you guys that are reading my fics.</p><p>Life Update: these are no longer my pronouns, this is no longer my name, but I still mean every word of this.<br/>Thankyou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thankyou.

"You're on in five, Vantas!" Came the loud, high but otherwise genderless voice through the door of the small dressing room.

"Fuck off, Megan, I'm not ready yet! Do I seriously have to wear this thing?!" He screams back at his director, tugging at the netted sleeves of his outfit and grimacing at their texture, red lines against his grey skin.

"Yes, I'm sorry but they'll love it, come on they're waiting!"

Karkat sighed heavily as he stood, hoping and praying that his partner in this is having just as much trouble as he is with their outfits - though he hasn't seen Dave's yet, he's looking forward to it if it's anything like his own. The troll examines himself in the full-length mirror, his hair curled lightly around his features in a tame-yet-wild manner, tight grey jeans ripped at the knees, a red netted long-sleeve top under a black cutoff bearing his sign in - thankfully matte and not sparkly - grey. He makes note of how grey is spelt. Probably Megan fucking things up again, she's always misspelling shit.

It takes him a full six and a half minutes to walk out of the room, unfortunately taking that time to make sure his eye liner wasn't too messy - it's the first time he's applied it himself and the poor thing's a little self-conscious despite his fine ass. When he does walk out of the room, the corridor - lit by the flickering flourescent lights dotted down it - appears empty. Karkat knows better than that, however, and whispers a quiet hello to his director before heading out towards the stage entrance, black converse squeaking against the cold floor.

When he walks out onstage - tugging at the spiked bracelets and choker collar he'd forgotten he was wearing - _thankyou, Megan_ \- the seats appear empty. Karkat Vantas knows better than that. He walks out onto the dimly lit stage, turning to the unseen crowd and speaking in his loudest voice.

"Ladies, Gentlemen, Non-binary creatures and others," He begins, gesturing outwards, his arms wide to the invisible audience he knows are there, "I'd like to thank you all for being here, on behalf of my manager and contract owner, Megan. She can't be here with us today because you guys can't imagine what she looks like, so she's sent me and Strider out here to talk to you on her behalf."

Silence envelopes the stage and seats, the entire arena is quiet as Karkat turns to look stage-left to see where his partner has gone.

"Strider?" He calls out, stepping back a moment to peer through the open doorway, "Come on that was your cue!"

"Sorry man I overslept have we started?" Dave asks, almost stumbling onto the stage in his pyjama bottoms and nothing else, stifling a yawn as he sets his shades on. Karkatwas the definition of furious as Dave looked him up and down, grinning smugly at his outfit and leaning backwards to get the full effect. "Nice ass."

Karkat glances over at the audience before lowering his voice and whispering to Dave, in an awfully loud voice for a whisper, "Shut the fuck up and where's your costume?"

He tilts his head, "I didn't put it on. There's this little thing called free will, Karkat, we both still have it. You look great though, the fishnet sleeves suit you,"

"Fuck off and talk to our audience, asshole."

Dave grins, pushing Karkat lightly in the middle of the chest as he strolls to centre-stage, squinting up at the spotlights through his shades and taking in the feeling of weightlessness that comes from being spectated by alot of people you can't see. It's overwhelming. He loves it.

"You guys constantly come back, and you're all so damn patient. Megan only has enough boons to hire us as permament staff at the moment but that doesn't seem to bother you guys at all which is great. I mean why would you mind? You get to see infinite amounts of me and an awful lot of Karkat naked..."

"Stick to the script, asshole!"

"So anyway as a reward for being so amazing, she's sent us out here to tell you a little more about ourselves, because you've met us in many other forms and many different tales, but you don't know these versions of us and that's not entirely fair. So here I am. My name is Dave Strider. Doctors believe me to be albino despite my hair being a little more blonde than white. As you can see - sorry, picture - I'm about a head taller than Karkat right now, but that's varied significantly with our ages. Right now I'm age 18, making Karkat 8 sweeps or whatever. He can talk about himself in a minute. I'm the Dave you know, and you can picture me however you like, but as I am, I'm about five-foot-nine and Kar's about five-three. I am me, and you've seen me elsewhere, but I'll never be exact and I'll never be what you expected."

He steps back, then, gently pushing Karkat forwards into the light by his shoulder.

"I'm Karkat Vantas, and Dave's already mentioned my age and height and therefore fucking stolen half of my script again, _asshole_. I'm a troll now, but I'm not always. When I'm not my appearance will be described but right now, I'm the troll you all know cast in several different lights. You may find my traits toned down or conpletely gone, but I try and be myself at all times despite what the role calls me to be. I never say anything I don't mean." He glances back to his partner, "Ever. And I make mistakes just like everyone else. My skin is grey, my hair is black and my horns are small but substantial. My claws can do damage and my teeth can rip through carcass. I am not defenseless, and being in a relationship with a creature like me while not being a creature like me is dangerous at all times. It only takes one mistake."

"We're who you know," Dave steps in beside Karkat, leaning heavily on his shoulders and looking out over the crowd, "But changes are made. The fact you don't mind these changes and keep coming back means the world to us and our director, and we'd like to thank you personally for supporting our stories, no matter how depressing or fluffy they get."

"That one where I'm dead though-"

"Karkat fucking don't." Dave hisses, leaning in to Karkat and putting him off balance.

"You fucking cried man I know you did." Karkat grins, circling an arm around Dave's back to stop him pushing him again.

"Alright we're cutting this short so I can beat this little asshole up." Dave says, and the two of them laugh, the cound echoing through the seemingly empty hall.

"Thankyou everyone." Karkat yells out once more before Dave lifts him over one of his shoulders, supporting him with a hand on his ass.

"Yeah thanks guys!" Dave calls out, walking offstage with his own reward, their playful banter lost to the echoing halls, mixing their shouts into odd other-worldly sounds as the stage door closes behind them, with nobody there to have closed it. If the boys had seen it, they'd have said goodnight to their manager, but she simply walks the empty stage alone, whispering an inaudible "thankyou" to the crowd as she pulls the curtain cord and shuts off the lights.

Until next time.


End file.
